Today needs to START.

Sitting in bed for the past hour doing little nothings - sipping my coffee, sending hello texts to S.J. and Taylor G, watching Miley and Usher on Good Morning America (don't worry they aren't doing a tour together/ duet song... though that would be the best disaster ever) -- and I really just need to jump out of bed, run over to my 3 piles of laundry, and start the day. Ha. My room looks like a five year old's morning hair - a mess. Well, when I click "publish post" on this blog I will officially have no excuse of wasting any more of this ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS DAY! That should be enough to get me to the window - it's bright outside. YES!

This week holds many mysteries and surprises. I can't wait to unwrap the ribbons and see what's inside the box. I am going on a trip. My momma and I are flying out of Arkansas to L.A. - It could be a great, fun trip. Or a little more. We'll see. No matter what I am sure (and can't wait) to smile to a lot of people. Give meaningful hugs and laugh often. God is so good. No matter what this trip holds that is the bottom line. He is good. I do not deserve what He has given me- my family, my friends, or His never ending mercy. Thank you. If I get scared on the plane, at the beach, or in an interview, He will be there. Not just chillin to my right, but holding my hand! Gripping it to remind me that He has a plan and no matter what, He is sovereign.

Today will be good. Now that my perspective is where it needs to be!


The Lord is good, a Strength and Stronghold in the day of trouble; He knows those who take refuge and trust in Him. Nahum 1:7 (AMP)

Woke up and put on my poetry dress.

Haiku:

Dreamers gaze at sky
Clouds and hours drift on by
Tick tock- waste the clock

Sometimes you wake up and it's two hours past your deadline. You have either fallen asleep and now you've missed your friends birthday party, or a plane ride, or the sunset. Maybe we all just need to wake up. I was tempted to make the last line something like this - Sometimes false is sweet / or / False is sweeter. Describing that life is rough, and our dreams/daydreams are a ride in the park. Sometimes those seem better for the moment, until you have wasted two days on a past situation or a pretty flower… just watch out and be alert before the clock says tomorrow.


Here is a poem - wrote it this morning I think I'll call it - Lover's trick

The lovers of today
make running mistakes,
tripping and tricking all in the same place.

"Sorry's" are fluent,
spoken like air.
Changes not made, yet somehow they care.

But if true and honest love was found,
in your heart, it should abound
Up and over the all the tripping
Of past mistakes and translucent fate.

Love is more than feeling,
Definition stresses meaning.
No one said it's easy- still, do not let go.

Open your eyes, yet the sun may be bright.
Face the obstruction blocking the tide.

Sweeter it is when all is met.
Jumping the fence-
Tasting the quench.

Thank you for reading. It is a delightful day and I can't wait to say hello.

soon. cev.

Chill bumps.

Does anyone else get chills from Aladdin? Maybe it's Cinderella or Beauty and the Beast for you, but Aladdin never ceases to make me beam smiles and "aawwww"s ! I love it. I know every word, the outcome and yet I could never watch it too many times. Disney, you are really wonderful. Besides the fact that I grew up thinking I could attain hair like Jasmine or Ariel, you really make me think dreams can come true. Thank you. I'll never stop watching and being surprised by this movie... and in life.

Soon-Cev

As of..

Today:

I sit outside, staring onto a field fighting yellow grass meanwhile hopeful flowers that have taken advantage of 70 degree weather. I'm on a swing ( on a boat.. ahha) and I just ate a salad. I swear I could talk to spring right now because I am so excited to see her. I am eyeing a squirrel as it scampers down the tree and ruffles its feathered tail. Wonderful. Fantastic. Fabulous. I am so excited to be here in this place physically and in life. Confused most days but I try to not to let uncertainty have more than one hour of twenty-four if it is indeed trying to consume my time..



And now I just got home from Glorious at the REP and Susie and I spent many breaths absolutely in awe of the moon. It looked like it had been stolen from a childhood fantasy book and perhaps someone was about to plop onto its crescent smile singing a song simultaneously warming our hearts. Susie, I adore you deary! Thank you for dreaming the way I do. And pushing me and making me do triple takes because you look so hot!

i love it..

muah world. cev.

soon.

Breath of now...

As i sit here in the living room, next to my kitty, I am actually not doing what I wanted! I wanted to go to sleep early and now I am afraid I might have begun a blog that might not have a REAL subject. Here we go, I am so ready for summer. I am sincerely awaiting being forced to apply sunscreen and sunglasses to avoid long term damage to this body. Can't wait to make random smoothies with the frozen fruit in our freezer, take it outside and just watch clouds float by. I worry though that I am building it up, the expectations never meet reality when I dream this much. But, the cold is quite unbearable, so I can't help but wish.
Do you ever just wonder what is coming up in life? Whether tomorrow, next week or three years from now. I am finding myself listening to my cat snore and my mind mix up the formula of the future. I definately don't know though what I will be doing next year. I love thinking of what seems could happen- singing, writing on a daily basis, loving on people and exploring new streets... But I plan things for tomorrow and then get stuck in traffic, sleep in, or end up staying home. All of these sentences are just trying to express how unknown it all is. I could be here for twenty more years, or twenty days, and all I really know is what I believe. I love knowing that God is constant. Because life, days and people- ALWAYS changing. But I see a sunrise...dream of you painting it, and whispering to me that you are more constant than the sunrise. Something I anticipate and adore when I wake to see it. I love KNOWING that you are constant. Always faithful. Thank you, it is the least I can do and say, but I mean every letter, thought and breath that comes before and after saying those two words. Thank you.
yours,Cev


soon.

wrote this 2 nights ago.. still feel the same.

miss you -- said the little girl with the long curls.

How fast can I get to you? Why am I not already there? Did you know that you are in my heart?


Bloggers,I didn't mean not to post for weeks...I'll make up for it.

I didn't mean to think about you so much today. Well, time slips by and I those thoughts have been sent and yes, they were very about you. So moving on, this blog is all to say that i miss you (certain someone) And, ... I want a Siberian Husky.. well, in a way.
Oh, you...To be able to be so happy with you, and then quickly adjust to hurried phone calls at inconvenient times, is simply difficult and uncomfortable. I shouldn't have to think so much about something that has the potential of being so easy. None the less I chose to wear this dress, and the shoes. I like the shoes, and this dress gets twenty compliments every time I slip it on. I am fine with where I am.
What am I saying? Adjusting my heart to careful mode just because I have to take you to the airport and be in the separation phase for who knows how long-, it's fine. Just to know you justifies the skeptical face of the distance that separates us. And to be known by you is the equivalent of a sunrise -- watched by backpackers in England. To say the least, I am thankful.

more posts soon.

yes, soon.
cev. thank you for keeping up with me... and my smile.

Free... & Valentines Day

How free can you get as a 17 year old? Always checking in to mom and dad, homework assignments, and practicing piano for at least 45 minutes every day. Well, one check is off the list, for now. I am officially a home-schooler. Ready to take on the world in a different way. No more jammed lockers, hall passes, burnt popcorn smell at lunch resinating slowly for a minimum of 25 minutes, or ridiculous homework assignments that are sworn not to be busy work. I am in some amazing way free. then again, the acoustics were incredible in the bathroom and I miss my algebra teacher...not algebra. School is something so ordinary and common for me.. for years I have gone to the same place and seen the same people- group of 40 (ish) and ever so close. I was four and wore a jumper when I first met a lot of the same people I still know and saw on a regular basis. Randomly throughout the years some would move, and be replaced by another - never really forgotten especially when flipping through old yearbooks or halloween pictures.

Valentines Day is coming up and I know I'm in eleventh grade, but I was still going to stuff a princess valentine and a chocolate kiss in my dearest friend's lockers. Now, I might still have to sneak into those halls...I mean it's tradition! I have always gotten Disney valentines, well except for the year I went with Hello Kitty, but that phase is over. Everyone expects an adorable valentine and candy from some of us creative ones in our class. I was a creative one. I always gave valentines- I mean look, I am still doing it! Valentines parties from grade school are swarming my mind. I see Elizabeth and Emily - the twins - Lindsey Quinsey - the athletic one - and Taylor G - the one I didn't like.. but grew to adore. Oh and how could I leave out Kaylee?! She was the essence of amazing and everyone wanted to be her - long legs and all! All of them my closest friends and all of them arguing over who Luke is going to choose to be his valentine. Beautiful. I miss the simple chaos of fourth grade. My teacher sweetly comes in with a peaceful smile and tells us how it isn't nice to hit each other (TAYLOR), or have an attitude(CHARITY). I am practically laughing at this moment of typing and visiting memories Arkansas Baptist elementary. Nothing like it, and I will always remember the things I couldn't wait to forget. It's all so beautiful now, and I don't have it anymore - for I am home schooler.. Well I will be tomorrow, when I start.

These verses have been helping as of late and I would love to share them with you. Philipians is wonderful, encouraging and pushing me to be what I couldn't be without You, Lord.

Philipians 2:14-18

¹⁴Do everything without complaining or arguing, ¹⁵so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe ¹⁶as you hold out^{c]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">[c]} the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing. ¹⁷But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. ¹⁸So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.

I am nothing without you. You are my smile, my voice and my words. I can only shine with you, for you are the light that exudes from stars. I adore you and adore the the snow that is fluttering from the sky. Hello, today.

Philipians 4:6-9

⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

⁸Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.⁹Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Wow, do not be anxious? Really? That is ever so difficult... for many and me. But I am clinging onto You. You are the essence of love and waves of peace. True and noble - please help me think uplifting and sweet thoughts, strong and ready for today, tomorrow and everyday. Give me your peace, Lord.

Love.cev.