Change -

NEW BLOG!!

www.littlemissidealist.blogspot.com

PLEASE! follow me. :)

I just decided it was time... So here is the beginning of another.

A hopeful girl,
Charity

From grapes to boots - the air is Indie

Sitting in a rather laid-back coffee cafe, that'd be me. Decorated by deteriorated walls and vintage newspapers, I'm in the midst. Doing what exactly? Blogging. Life these days, what can I say?

well- i feel like writing a song at this moment.

i need to work on the art of co-writing, or maybe the art of convincing yourself there is no art- just go for it.

Bobby is almost done with work---YAY!

I'll write something important soon. yes.

A hopeful girl,
Charity

NASHVILLEEEE!

As I sit Indian style in the corner of my room, behind my much-played keyboard, I can't stop thinking about this next trip to NASHVILLE! I love Nashville like .. like .... KIM LOVES AUSTIN! AND, that my friends, is a lot. So, I'm brainstorming colorful outfits, and gorilla glueing my favorite shoes together (just can't let them go!) -- all to prepare for my boy's music video! I am going to be the main girl and I'm ever so excited! So I'll put on my skinny jeans (pop/punk ; power/pop band) and color my roots! Friday I'll take on a six hour road trip, my first by myself (can't wait). I should probably clean my room... hah.

WELL here is a cute picture of one of my favorite little lady's--Avery.

She's gone and her voice is going hoarse.

I miss your sweet giggle after small sentences containing something sort of funny that we ended up laughing about for approximately 5 or 8 minutes. Hello Hannah Watson. Or should I say goodbye? I must visit you soon in the state of Alabama... You're blabbing in the most delightful way about ten dollar pillows from Garden Ridge, "So those cover up the fact that we didn't make the bed spread long enough.." Yes, a couple of weeks ago, Han and I attempted to create a bedspread cover for her dorm bed. She trusted the lie I spilled out multiple times- claiming I was an expert sower. Yeah, I didn't even where to locate the on switch to where the bobbin was. It was quite a little mess, so we found other ways to finish the project and the end product seemed adorable and a perfect fit. But in the end, as she sits indian style on the floor parallel to the end of her tiny dormitory bed, she realized it was unreasonably SHORT. How depressing.

Well, so far I have written and finished a total of two songs and there are many a poem and short story that live in my journals- past and present- that are dedicated to that wonderful lady. She really is a great inspiration, from the way she moves to the sound of her bouncy laugh. The way she imitates the music playing as we drive down any given street in Little Rock, to the way she reads the book of Proverbs, Ephesians, or Revelation. She just has this art to her, almost a special species she creates with every breath through those lungs. I am ever so filled with pride to call her my best friend. Sweet girl. Can't get enough time with her.

But hey, we'll create something soon- I'm sure of it. Whether it be a mess of a milkshake, or a decoupaged duvet. It will be great and it WILL happen.

You are the icing, and yes- you want one.

A hopeful girl, Charity

Getting ready!

Practice! Practice! Practice!

Friday before Sunday, just woke up and I'm a bouncy mess of excitement, with only one sip of coffee. Two more days, including this one, until I shake the hands of pop/punk band 'Boys like Girls'. I can't believe I'm getting the opportunity to open for them. So many moments have been made real through the high chorus of 'Great Escape' and the rushing result of wind because the roof is down. My car loves to push play to that band, and it's pretty exciting revving up the crowd to listen, with sentences like," EVERYBODYYY!! Are you ready for BOYYSS LIKKE GIRLSS?"


Well, that's enough all caps for one day. Have a good one and leave a comment so I know I'm not just repeating your name over the Walmart intercom and you happened to leave 15 minutes earlier.

A hopeful girl,
Charity

Chaotic days with a Side of Peace of Mind:

Lately has been quite chaotic... and it seems I'm not the only one with that mentality/reality. Waking up isn't the simple act of brushing the covers off your legs and standing up with a slight stretch of the arms. It's thinking, "I've got so much to do today, and half of the people I need to talk to won't return my call!" It's a waste, those thoughts that are pessimistic and can't change anything, but sometimes I feel they must happen. I should change that, and exit those thoughts from existing-- From now on, no more waking up with worry, I will wake up, breathe, smile and love.

As I look around, everyone seems a little worried about their future. I can't say I'm not worried about mine. None the less, I will write my songs and sing my heart out. But just as B always says, "Nothing is for sure until it happens." Which, as unfortunate as that is, it's the truth. In the business (yes, business) I have chosen, people are often flaky and sometimes lie about their careers or connections. And that's okay, because it just happens, as long as I am not one associated with them or hearing their lies. I have been fortunate to be (over all) working with people that do have my best in mind, and do truly care about music rather the money. Opportunities are definately in grasp, and I'm constantly thanking God for them. We will see where He takes me...I am willing and ready to do whatever He has. I'd rather be in His will, even if what He has is different and I don't see the whole picture, then on my own, not in control and completely confused. Following what Christ wants for my life is difficult a lot of the time, because I want everything when I want it. And even though I know His timing is perfect, I still argue and throw pathetic fits. He is sovereign, and I know He will take care of me.

I wrote a new song yesterday. I have been practicing classical music on the piano. Oh, and at this moment, my hair is being colored platinum blonde, as per usual. Did I mention the color on my head is BLUE? It's kind of fantastic, although I'd die if someone I knew walked through the front door and saw me in this state.


I hope all of whoever is reading has the best day. I really do mean that too! Today is beautiful, quite hot and humid, but hey, it's Arkansas- in the summer! What else should we Arkansans expect?


A hopeful girl,
Charity

Trust.Love.Grace.

What is trust? I think I give it to a lot of people and don't even know that I am. It's just an unconscious act I do, and I guess the reason would be that fact that I haven't been badly bruised by someone abusing my trust. It's pretty vital to have between people.

I want to make a lot of things habit in my life.
For instance:

-Constantly re-evaluating where my eyes are.. are they on me? Because if so, none of my true goals in life will be fulfilled because I'll be too worried if everyone likes me, or if there's something on my face.

-Am I extended true love and grace to others? Pure love (definition 1 Cor. 13) is rare to attain, but life is so much sweeter when I stop acting jealous, or in-patient, and just listen and breathe. True grace's best example is Christ, and I just need to learn daily what it means to forgive and forget. He says he cast our sin as far as the east is to the west.. and He tells me to strive to be in Him and become more like Him. Am I tossing my hurts from other people as far as the east is to the west? Or am I clutching onto them, ready to throw it at them adding tears and built up pain since the action was first committed. I don't want to be held back in life by things I can't over. Give me your eyes and let me forget. Let me love.

-Am I really giving you everything? When I try and hold onto certain parts of my life, everything starts to spiral downwards. Because I am in control. And what do I know? I don't know what is best for me. You are the one who created me and loves me more than the clouds gently floating throughout throughout an overcast day. You breathed my breathe in me... I want you to have every part of my life, because you are good, you are righteous, and you know best.


i love you Lord.


I want your true love -- because that will never fail.


4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails.

obsessed.

WITH GLEE


how sad though.. ? Because the episodes can be quite... interesting.. I love the music. and the cast . wow.


I wanna be on this show.

I am constantly listening to Endless Love, Taking Chances, or Gold Digger... yes.

and if you really wanna laugh, just listen to (you're)Having my baby .. it's quite hilarious!

I hope all of you are doing GREAT.


cev.

Picture Blog:

Once again here we go with the pictures!






That is Caiden and Cammie -- family friends in L.A.

This blog has just begun i will be back later to make it betteR! hah!

I've never been here...

What are you up to?

I am in a sunny land shaking hands.

How do you like it out there?

It's a little.. dry.. and I drink endless bottles and plastic cups full of water but still seem dehydrated.

Is anything difficult happening?

Yes, missing people and confused by all the highways.

Is there anything you need?

200 hours of sleep, the ocean to be warm, and a hug from Bobby Banister.

Are you making this quiz up?

Yes.

Would you move out here?

If God told me to. Wherever He starts opening doors and it seems I should walk through them, I will go.

Why would you not move out to L.A.

Well, the singing side of things can take place from LR, Nashville, ... Anywhere. But, the acting side of things would have to happen in L.A. So, my dream being Glee, I would have to pack my bags and fold my dresses, catch a plane to here.

Are you feeling confused?

Feeling confused is wonderful though, because I am so at peace with the fact that God will show me what to do. He will make clear where I am supposed to go, or which managers I need to really think about going with. So being confused is great because He will always show up.

What is your dearest verse as of late?

Proverbs 3.3 - Let love and faithfulness never leave you. Bind them around your neck, write them on the tablets of your heart.

That verse is becoming so vital in my everyday. I read scripture, pray and tell God the intricate details of my lately, and finish with that beautiful verse. How alluring are the words -- they paint a picture and I adore that picture. Lord you are such a graceful writer.


Thank you for reading this interesting blog. I know it was different in the way I talked to all of you.. but I just felt like doing that hah! Have a great day... !!

Soon-Cev


ps the title is deeper than investigating the new free ways ...

Today needs to START.

Sitting in bed for the past hour doing little nothings - sipping my coffee, sending hello texts to S.J. and Taylor G, watching Miley and Usher on Good Morning America (don't worry they aren't doing a tour together/ duet song... though that would be the best disaster ever) -- and I really just need to jump out of bed, run over to my 3 piles of laundry, and start the day. Ha. My room looks like a five year old's morning hair - a mess. Well, when I click "publish post" on this blog I will officially have no excuse of wasting any more of this ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS DAY! That should be enough to get me to the window - it's bright outside. YES!

This week holds many mysteries and surprises. I can't wait to unwrap the ribbons and see what's inside the box. I am going on a trip. My momma and I are flying out of Arkansas to L.A. - It could be a great, fun trip. Or a little more. We'll see. No matter what I am sure (and can't wait) to smile to a lot of people. Give meaningful hugs and laugh often. God is so good. No matter what this trip holds that is the bottom line. He is good. I do not deserve what He has given me- my family, my friends, or His never ending mercy. Thank you. If I get scared on the plane, at the beach, or in an interview, He will be there. Not just chillin to my right, but holding my hand! Gripping it to remind me that He has a plan and no matter what, He is sovereign.

Today will be good. Now that my perspective is where it needs to be!


The Lord is good, a Strength and Stronghold in the day of trouble; He knows those who take refuge and trust in Him. Nahum 1:7 (AMP)

Woke up and put on my poetry dress.

Haiku:

Dreamers gaze at sky
Clouds and hours drift on by
Tick tock- waste the clock

Sometimes you wake up and it's two hours past your deadline. You have either fallen asleep and now you've missed your friends birthday party, or a plane ride, or the sunset. Maybe we all just need to wake up. I was tempted to make the last line something like this - Sometimes false is sweet / or / False is sweeter. Describing that life is rough, and our dreams/daydreams are a ride in the park. Sometimes those seem better for the moment, until you have wasted two days on a past situation or a pretty flower… just watch out and be alert before the clock says tomorrow.


Here is a poem - wrote it this morning I think I'll call it - Lover's trick

The lovers of today
make running mistakes,
tripping and tricking all in the same place.

"Sorry's" are fluent,
spoken like air.
Changes not made, yet somehow they care.

But if true and honest love was found,
in your heart, it should abound
Up and over the all the tripping
Of past mistakes and translucent fate.

Love is more than feeling,
Definition stresses meaning.
No one said it's easy- still, do not let go.

Open your eyes, yet the sun may be bright.
Face the obstruction blocking the tide.

Sweeter it is when all is met.
Jumping the fence-
Tasting the quench.

Thank you for reading. It is a delightful day and I can't wait to say hello.

soon. cev.

Chill bumps.

Does anyone else get chills from Aladdin? Maybe it's Cinderella or Beauty and the Beast for you, but Aladdin never ceases to make me beam smiles and "aawwww"s ! I love it. I know every word, the outcome and yet I could never watch it too many times. Disney, you are really wonderful. Besides the fact that I grew up thinking I could attain hair like Jasmine or Ariel, you really make me think dreams can come true. Thank you. I'll never stop watching and being surprised by this movie... and in life.

Soon-Cev

As of..

Today:

I sit outside, staring onto a field fighting yellow grass meanwhile hopeful flowers that have taken advantage of 70 degree weather. I'm on a swing ( on a boat.. ahha) and I just ate a salad. I swear I could talk to spring right now because I am so excited to see her. I am eyeing a squirrel as it scampers down the tree and ruffles its feathered tail. Wonderful. Fantastic. Fabulous. I am so excited to be here in this place physically and in life. Confused most days but I try to not to let uncertainty have more than one hour of twenty-four if it is indeed trying to consume my time..



And now I just got home from Glorious at the REP and Susie and I spent many breaths absolutely in awe of the moon. It looked like it had been stolen from a childhood fantasy book and perhaps someone was about to plop onto its crescent smile singing a song simultaneously warming our hearts. Susie, I adore you deary! Thank you for dreaming the way I do. And pushing me and making me do triple takes because you look so hot!

i love it..

muah world. cev.

soon.

Breath of now...

As i sit here in the living room, next to my kitty, I am actually not doing what I wanted! I wanted to go to sleep early and now I am afraid I might have begun a blog that might not have a REAL subject. Here we go, I am so ready for summer. I am sincerely awaiting being forced to apply sunscreen and sunglasses to avoid long term damage to this body. Can't wait to make random smoothies with the frozen fruit in our freezer, take it outside and just watch clouds float by. I worry though that I am building it up, the expectations never meet reality when I dream this much. But, the cold is quite unbearable, so I can't help but wish.
Do you ever just wonder what is coming up in life? Whether tomorrow, next week or three years from now. I am finding myself listening to my cat snore and my mind mix up the formula of the future. I definately don't know though what I will be doing next year. I love thinking of what seems could happen- singing, writing on a daily basis, loving on people and exploring new streets... But I plan things for tomorrow and then get stuck in traffic, sleep in, or end up staying home. All of these sentences are just trying to express how unknown it all is. I could be here for twenty more years, or twenty days, and all I really know is what I believe. I love knowing that God is constant. Because life, days and people- ALWAYS changing. But I see a sunrise...dream of you painting it, and whispering to me that you are more constant than the sunrise. Something I anticipate and adore when I wake to see it. I love KNOWING that you are constant. Always faithful. Thank you, it is the least I can do and say, but I mean every letter, thought and breath that comes before and after saying those two words. Thank you.
yours,Cev


soon.

wrote this 2 nights ago.. still feel the same.

miss you -- said the little girl with the long curls.

How fast can I get to you? Why am I not already there? Did you know that you are in my heart?


Bloggers,I didn't mean not to post for weeks...I'll make up for it.

I didn't mean to think about you so much today. Well, time slips by and I those thoughts have been sent and yes, they were very about you. So moving on, this blog is all to say that i miss you (certain someone) And, ... I want a Siberian Husky.. well, in a way.
Oh, you...To be able to be so happy with you, and then quickly adjust to hurried phone calls at inconvenient times, is simply difficult and uncomfortable. I shouldn't have to think so much about something that has the potential of being so easy. None the less I chose to wear this dress, and the shoes. I like the shoes, and this dress gets twenty compliments every time I slip it on. I am fine with where I am.
What am I saying? Adjusting my heart to careful mode just because I have to take you to the airport and be in the separation phase for who knows how long-, it's fine. Just to know you justifies the skeptical face of the distance that separates us. And to be known by you is the equivalent of a sunrise -- watched by backpackers in England. To say the least, I am thankful.

more posts soon.

yes, soon.
cev. thank you for keeping up with me... and my smile.

Free... & Valentines Day

How free can you get as a 17 year old? Always checking in to mom and dad, homework assignments, and practicing piano for at least 45 minutes every day. Well, one check is off the list, for now. I am officially a home-schooler. Ready to take on the world in a different way. No more jammed lockers, hall passes, burnt popcorn smell at lunch resinating slowly for a minimum of 25 minutes, or ridiculous homework assignments that are sworn not to be busy work. I am in some amazing way free. then again, the acoustics were incredible in the bathroom and I miss my algebra teacher...not algebra. School is something so ordinary and common for me.. for years I have gone to the same place and seen the same people- group of 40 (ish) and ever so close. I was four and wore a jumper when I first met a lot of the same people I still know and saw on a regular basis. Randomly throughout the years some would move, and be replaced by another - never really forgotten especially when flipping through old yearbooks or halloween pictures.

Valentines Day is coming up and I know I'm in eleventh grade, but I was still going to stuff a princess valentine and a chocolate kiss in my dearest friend's lockers. Now, I might still have to sneak into those halls...I mean it's tradition! I have always gotten Disney valentines, well except for the year I went with Hello Kitty, but that phase is over. Everyone expects an adorable valentine and candy from some of us creative ones in our class. I was a creative one. I always gave valentines- I mean look, I am still doing it! Valentines parties from grade school are swarming my mind. I see Elizabeth and Emily - the twins - Lindsey Quinsey - the athletic one - and Taylor G - the one I didn't like.. but grew to adore. Oh and how could I leave out Kaylee?! She was the essence of amazing and everyone wanted to be her - long legs and all! All of them my closest friends and all of them arguing over who Luke is going to choose to be his valentine. Beautiful. I miss the simple chaos of fourth grade. My teacher sweetly comes in with a peaceful smile and tells us how it isn't nice to hit each other (TAYLOR), or have an attitude(CHARITY). I am practically laughing at this moment of typing and visiting memories Arkansas Baptist elementary. Nothing like it, and I will always remember the things I couldn't wait to forget. It's all so beautiful now, and I don't have it anymore - for I am home schooler.. Well I will be tomorrow, when I start.

These verses have been helping as of late and I would love to share them with you. Philipians is wonderful, encouraging and pushing me to be what I couldn't be without You, Lord.

Philipians 2:14-18

¹⁴Do everything without complaining or arguing, ¹⁵so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe ¹⁶as you hold out^{c]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">[c]} the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing. ¹⁷But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. ¹⁸So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.

I am nothing without you. You are my smile, my voice and my words. I can only shine with you, for you are the light that exudes from stars. I adore you and adore the the snow that is fluttering from the sky. Hello, today.

Philipians 4:6-9

⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

⁸Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.⁹Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Wow, do not be anxious? Really? That is ever so difficult... for many and me. But I am clinging onto You. You are the essence of love and waves of peace. True and noble - please help me think uplifting and sweet thoughts, strong and ready for today, tomorrow and everyday. Give me your peace, Lord.

Love.cev.

Picture Blog:

This is where I let the pictures speak.. this blog is mostly photographs that will scream my life as of late.. :

Starting, this first scene is one of many amazing adventures with my dear Han. She is a blessing, and as bright as every galaxy held in the hands of a 5 year old Audrey Hepburn. Yes, that is how special she is. Hope you followed that.

We LOVE to laugh.

Definately consumes most of time.

With the sun in our eyes, we feel unstoppable..We feel empowered,..We feel life.

Nothing like your life and hazel eyes. I am so thankful our eyes met and realized they need to be together.

Next on the list is my heartbeat- Con.

We understand each other. As the years pass me by, I have started realizing what it means to have someone that understands you. Someone that opens up and it means something, and listens with an open mind. Someone that knows how to grasp the concept of love. Con loves. She is ever so dear to this heart of mine. In the last photo above, I have to enlarge it a little, because even though she is older, wiser, and more talented, I feel this internal pulse, and it's telling me to protect her. No matter how many miles separate us, trust me it's a lot. I will protect her, call her, smile, and adore her none the less.

Susie. you are adorable. Happy and vibrant. I kind of sort of love you..and miss you. :) have a wonderful time at college...I wish I was with you. Icing?much? Car singing takes on a new level when we do it. Volume up and musical theater-ness seeping from the cracks of the windows how could people not stare? One day, hopefully soon, we can do a road trip, because I have only experienced short car rides and long ones---wow.. they might blow my mind.

Hello life-saver. Hello Sarah. Dark and not so mysterious---Thank you for being my best friend. Thank you for praying constantly when I need it, telling people kindly to "shhhh", and smiling that beautiful bracy smile. I love it. LOVE. Life would not as bright without you.

Sus. Suska. Susayy.

Hi. I miss you nonchalantly roaming school halls while holding 500 books that I couldn't understand if I tried---I miss that. Do you miss me? *laugh* Life is still moving, time- ticking. We should visit more- as you see in this picture above, your care. You always cared for me. Always helping me with a stubborn locker, agitated contact, or a lunch I forgot to bring. Thanks. You are beautiful, long hair and interesting eyes. Missing you- me.

Hello breathe of peace. Hello instant smile. Hello Bobby. Perfect timing for you to jog into my life..because you would jog. If the day is dreary and rain is drizzling from the sky, all I have to do is push play to your EP. Energy instantly streams through my blood creating a smile and unstoppable thankfulness. Our adventures have begun and I don't intend on them stopping ---- Well until we take over the world. Let's...Soon. I love our world. You are a constant inspiration and I thank God for you.

Laww..Lollyy.BoobsMaGoo.

You, my dear..You, my midget of a friend, bubbliest person I have ever heard/laid eyes on. You, are amazing. No one is as special.. or vibrant. Please, let's run away. and ..giggle. Because we would. I miss giggling with you, calling random hotels at 4 in the morning and singing Jingle Bell Rock. I miss the green moped..although not so much the 3 wrecks that gave me a scar on my knee.. Definately worth it. I adore you . Let's meet in the middle of the 4 hours that separate us. cev.

please..

Visit.

Read.

love.

http://thanksfortheflowers-hw.blogspot.com/

there is absolutely no one that breathes air, and blinks like she does. No one that has captured my heart and so many others the way she has. Our hands both fragile, and our hearts, frail in ourselves, strong in Him... to say i adore her is an understatement. that sentence is an understatement..

goodbye.

cev.

If i were you.. I'd just say it..

"hello"..

What if it was as easy as that? What if calling that once memorized number and not hanging up after a quick 4 seconds was possible? ...well, possible for me? I am sure I am not the only shatter hearted girl out there. I am sure others have troubles.

"will he ever know"

my head throbs with the sick presumption that he'll never be conscious of what he put me through...all because I don't have enough dignity in myself, to scream it! My heart cant seem to pause, or better yet - stop, the depressing music resounding through my veins and out my eyes,lips,fingers. Close friends most likely are tired of hearing my behind backs whispers of secret suffering regarding you. I would be. More than an annoyance of me, I would guess they hate him.

It's sad, because he isn't all together awful.. Oh my, what am I even saying? he is! My mind is tricking myself, even now! He isn't great, he isn't 50% close to perfect- or 20 for that matter, and the flawless portrait hanging in the mind is but a dream; a deceitful box of airy cloud, ready to disappear the moment fingertips touch its false existence.

One day, I'll decide I have wasted enough time remembering your name. One day I'll greet the sun and bid you farewell. That day, I'll open eyes to the reality of living, for in this moment and ones that surround, I am quite frigidly stuck-... quit dead.

A simple inspiration through a friend is all that this blog is. Maybe ones eyes will be opened.

Blessings,hope and life.

Cev