Almost...

It is officially the week of Christmas. It is sunny outside, I still have presents to get, and I am in desperate need of a craft day.

I love getting on here, and forgetting all of the creative ideas that have latched onto my mind these past couple days. Because now I am rambling. It is okay though, I will one day not only remember, but write down the ideas. Lets hope I learn from this mistake.

Never the less, I will ramble- it just makes this blog less interesting to the readers (which is you! thank you for reading..btw). Today i feel like a short story. I feel like googling top names in-(random country)- and making up a story. Yes, for the time being I'll escape today, but in the end, I'll have made new problems. Though, those problems are easily fixed where as most aren't. I can re-write an ending in 5 minutes. It might lack creativity, but with more time, a happy ending is tangible for that English named boy or girl.

this is to be continued.

Feel like stepping..

How long can i stand being in 34 degree weather in flannel pajama pants and a sweatshirt? Is it worth a glance at the sky? Why would I even question, of course. Sometimes, I test my tolerance of being so cold. Just because. How loud can you turn up John Mayor in your car until it's too loud? Is it ever really distracting? Never too loud. I did bust one of my speakers.. Guess that was too loud..Is there ever a smile too vibrant? A laugh too joyful? A kitten too adorable (or in some opinions, a puppy)? What makes something hurtful? What if I were to create a wall shielding pain, and open to love. Wouldn't that be interesting. What makes some accents irritating, and some addicting? What makes gestures contagious, or yawns? So many questions. I just feel like asking them today. Anything random, anything non-relevant. (What's new? Usually I am not relevant. ) What predicts one's mood of a day? What makes one miss another? ---People,We are detailed. Our lives and personalities are an intricate outline some written in cursive, some in Times New Roman. Let's figure out ourselves and figure out each other. Why not? What's a breath without a step. I feel like stepping. I feel like jumping.

I feel like laughing. I feel like living.

How about yourself?

Love.Cev.

The Shadow

This is half free verse, pieces rhyme.. I was just in the mood to write something..

Forced to the ground by the sun's mite,

darkness was behind her

shaped like her, following her.

She was airy and carefree with every step

wandering down an unfamiliar avenue.

She knew something,someone was near.

A presence opposite of her own,

listening to more than her breaths,

hearing her thoughts, interpreting them

into a foreign language.

Quickly she fluttered away,

the spirit mocking her posture, her grace.

her thoughts turned chaotic,

her peace- nonexistent, as she turned in circles,

pulling her hair.

"You know my name, you hear my heart,

you follow me oh! so closely.

I've been fleeting your existence,shunning you face-

why? you still remain?"

She spoke to the air, no one was there

except the whistling breeze.

Over her shoulder she twisted her neck

with a gasp she screamed- "It's me!"

Tell me your thoughts.. and I'll tell if your interpretation matches mine.

-cev

What's the deal..

Why is it that in every good moment, tons of yesterdays, and many of the themes of my original songs, is time? How it passes, dealing with the new, understanding ( as much as we can ) time, and accepting it? Since I was young I think I have always been fascinated by time. It perplexes me, almost forming a corner of depression in my mind, because of my perspective of how I am as of late viewing it. I would rather not think time is fleeting from my fingertips, but time is to come. Being consumed with how blessed I am for every moment, instead of its quickness to disappear. I love the challenge of time, the vastness of space, and mystery of tomorrow and I want to enjoy it, not fear, or worry its coming.

Blogging is great. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. I am thankful for so many things God has blessed me with. Family, friends ( joy makers ), kitty-cat ( issabel ),.. Thank you for blessing me. Thank you for listening, and thank you for your mercy, Lord.

Yours, cev.

today.tomorrow.yesterday.

Situation: You, in today, although your mind isn't. Your mind is thinking about tonight. Why? because you are in class, and thinking about tonight is so much more entertaining.

Situation: You, tomorrow, coffee with friends, but your mind isn't present. Your mind is thinking about the next day. Why? because you have interesting plans that beg your mind to create expectations.

Situation: You, 2 years forward, in an open apartment, lying on the floor. You are reminiscing moments past that include all the moments you weren't really all in. Yes, your body was present, but your mind? your energy? was elsewhere.

I am noticing more and more that my mind isn't always in the moment, as i try and wish it would be. I am thinking about tonight and tomorrow too often, creating expectations and situations that more than half the time never come about. And it's not that we shouldn't dream, but I do it too often. I need to live now, never wish for tomorrow because every day is a gift. It's as simple as that. Today, whether I am resting at home, or tomorrow, in class, I want to be there. Fully, being my encouraging, bright- eyed person God made me. Because when you veer from today, you miss now, and end up always living for tomorrow.

Hello pecan pie, turkey, and scarves. hello family, smiles, and fire places. Hello Thanksgiving.
I am practically in denial it is Thanksgiving again..I feel like last Thanksgiving was yesterday. Well, I have officially been thinking about this break for all of this week. To be able to have time more than an hour, hardly any homework, and blue skies to gaze upon for a week kind of makes me smile.

GUESS WHAT? I am finally moving past my writers block. You see, I have had difficulties writing 2nd verses, but about two nights ago, somehow inspiration broke the curse. Now I have somewhere around 5 full songs.. and then 290837492837 pieces of songs. lol. I have bits of inspiration all over the place. I need to just combine them all.. haha.

Have a blessed day. We are about to taste Thanksgiving. Litterally. Bye.

Iron and Wine

You know when you miss someone? And with every song that plays, you claim it a favorite and remember listening to it in the car with them, or that it’s number 3 on the CD they gave you… and you can’t decide whether it’s a good thing that every word describes your life. Is it better? Better that now you always think of them? Sometimes you just want to listen to a good song without seeing certain eyes and lips create words. Right now I think I think I’d be fine if their face didn’t scroll across the screen in my head in perfect rhythm of every song. Really. Yes, I’d be fine… I guess I’m convincing myself as I type this, but it seems this is the best thing. Letting go isn’t as hard as I make it. We were never all together in the first place… If only the strings of my heart were visible, tangible then I could see them, then I cut the ones that lead to you. Then I could hear my favorite Iron and Wine song, breathe, and smile.

Conclusion to this paragraph is Iron and Wine- Naked as We Came

-cev