wrote this 2 nights ago.. still feel the same.

miss you -- said the little girl with the long curls.

How fast can I get to you? Why am I not already there? Did you know that you are in my heart?


Bloggers,I didn't mean not to post for weeks...I'll make up for it.

I didn't mean to think about you so much today. Well, time slips by and I those thoughts have been sent and yes, they were very about you. So moving on, this blog is all to say that i miss you (certain someone) And, ... I want a Siberian Husky.. well, in a way.
Oh, you...To be able to be so happy with you, and then quickly adjust to hurried phone calls at inconvenient times, is simply difficult and uncomfortable. I shouldn't have to think so much about something that has the potential of being so easy. None the less I chose to wear this dress, and the shoes. I like the shoes, and this dress gets twenty compliments every time I slip it on. I am fine with where I am.
What am I saying? Adjusting my heart to careful mode just because I have to take you to the airport and be in the separation phase for who knows how long-, it's fine. Just to know you justifies the skeptical face of the distance that separates us. And to be known by you is the equivalent of a sunrise -- watched by backpackers in England. To say the least, I am thankful.

more posts soon.

yes, soon.
cev. thank you for keeping up with me... and my smile.

Free... & Valentines Day

How free can you get as a 17 year old? Always checking in to mom and dad, homework assignments, and practicing piano for at least 45 minutes every day. Well, one check is off the list, for now. I am officially a home-schooler. Ready to take on the world in a different way. No more jammed lockers, hall passes, burnt popcorn smell at lunch resinating slowly for a minimum of 25 minutes, or ridiculous homework assignments that are sworn not to be busy work. I am in some amazing way free. then again, the acoustics were incredible in the bathroom and I miss my algebra teacher...not algebra. School is something so ordinary and common for me.. for years I have gone to the same place and seen the same people- group of 40 (ish) and ever so close. I was four and wore a jumper when I first met a lot of the same people I still know and saw on a regular basis. Randomly throughout the years some would move, and be replaced by another - never really forgotten especially when flipping through old yearbooks or halloween pictures.

Valentines Day is coming up and I know I'm in eleventh grade, but I was still going to stuff a princess valentine and a chocolate kiss in my dearest friend's lockers. Now, I might still have to sneak into those halls...I mean it's tradition! I have always gotten Disney valentines, well except for the year I went with Hello Kitty, but that phase is over. Everyone expects an adorable valentine and candy from some of us creative ones in our class. I was a creative one. I always gave valentines- I mean look, I am still doing it! Valentines parties from grade school are swarming my mind. I see Elizabeth and Emily - the twins - Lindsey Quinsey - the athletic one - and Taylor G - the one I didn't like.. but grew to adore. Oh and how could I leave out Kaylee?! She was the essence of amazing and everyone wanted to be her - long legs and all! All of them my closest friends and all of them arguing over who Luke is going to choose to be his valentine. Beautiful. I miss the simple chaos of fourth grade. My teacher sweetly comes in with a peaceful smile and tells us how it isn't nice to hit each other (TAYLOR), or have an attitude(CHARITY). I am practically laughing at this moment of typing and visiting memories Arkansas Baptist elementary. Nothing like it, and I will always remember the things I couldn't wait to forget. It's all so beautiful now, and I don't have it anymore - for I am home schooler.. Well I will be tomorrow, when I start.

These verses have been helping as of late and I would love to share them with you. Philipians is wonderful, encouraging and pushing me to be what I couldn't be without You, Lord.

Philipians 2:14-18

¹⁴Do everything without complaining or arguing, ¹⁵so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe ¹⁶as you hold out^{c]" style="font-size: 0.75em; line-height: 0.5em; ">[c]} the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing. ¹⁷But even if I am being poured out like a drink offering on the sacrifice and service coming from your faith, I am glad and rejoice with all of you. ¹⁸So you too should be glad and rejoice with me.

I am nothing without you. You are my smile, my voice and my words. I can only shine with you, for you are the light that exudes from stars. I adore you and adore the the snow that is fluttering from the sky. Hello, today.

Philipians 4:6-9

⁶Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

⁸Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.⁹Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Wow, do not be anxious? Really? That is ever so difficult... for many and me. But I am clinging onto You. You are the essence of love and waves of peace. True and noble - please help me think uplifting and sweet thoughts, strong and ready for today, tomorrow and everyday. Give me your peace, Lord.

Love.cev.