What if it was as easy as that? What if calling that once memorized number and not hanging up after a quick 4 seconds was possible? ...well, possible for me? I am sure I am not the only shatter hearted girl out there. I am sure others have troubles.
"will he ever know"
my head throbs with the sick presumption that he'll never be conscious of what he put me through...all because I don't have enough dignity in myself, to scream it! My heart cant seem to pause, or better yet - stop, the depressing music resounding through my veins and out my eyes,lips,fingers. Close friends most likely are tired of hearing my behind backs whispers of secret suffering regarding you. I would be. More than an annoyance of me, I would guess they hate him.
It's sad, because he isn't all together awful.. Oh my, what am I even saying? he is! My mind is tricking myself, even now! He isn't great, he isn't 50% close to perfect- or 20 for that matter, and the flawless portrait hanging in the mind is but a dream; a deceitful box of airy cloud, ready to disappear the moment fingertips touch its false existence.
One day, I'll decide I have wasted enough time remembering your name. One day I'll greet the sun and bid you farewell. That day, I'll open eyes to the reality of living, for in this moment and ones that surround, I am quite frigidly stuck-... quit dead.
A simple inspiration through a friend is all that this blog is. Maybe ones eyes will be opened.
Blessings,hope and life.
Cev
No comments:
Post a Comment